I like peas/in a pod, garden direct, shelled/popping and pinging
into a small bowl,/cupped in a hand/eaten raw—their sweetness
a reminder of sunshine/and rain—their nutrients/bursting onto my tongue
mixing with saliva, that spit/full of tiny bubbles/ready to crowd
their green/nectar around my mouth/then, just before swallowing
it spread gifts, miraculously—
I like peas/frozen and joined/to any soup or meal.
Green pebbles/ready to thaw/the moment heat/ embraces their skin.
I savour their journey/to my plate or bowl, /and express thankfulness.
In my delight to absorb/such wonder, such simplicity/and digest such splendor;
I remember the health/and wellness it gifts me/one fruit pod at a time,/
one pea,/one molecule.
I love peas. Thank you,/each and every one/for your magnificence.
Such sustenance for the soul.
Writing Practice: Embrace an opportunity to write about a great love or passion that feeds your soul. It can be anything that “pops” into your mind. Animal, Vegetable or Mineral; Person, Place or Thing. In-joy the experience and be surprised! I was…
Enter the silence of your Soul.
There, truth resides waiting to burst into openness.
Pay attention to its cadence.
Its quietness will set you free and show the way to live your life with choice and intent.
REFLECTIONReadily we think silence
Energizes, and it does however,
Finding that quiet time means
Leaning into it—gracefully
Each moment, which calls for attention,
Clarity, consciousness and communication
To ourselves—especially when
Insights bring a certain uncomfortableness naturally,
Ordinarily, however when we choose awareness over
Numbness every time, stillness emerges wondrously.
Trees
Tending gardens and trees
Rejuvenates our connection to the whole
Energetically speaking. Digging
Earth, composting witnesses’ cycles
Soothes our very soul, bountifully.
Haiku-July-2020
Writing Practice: Acrostic Poem
Pick a word (or more, a sentence even) that resonates for you. Take the first letter of the word/s or sentence and write them vertically in your journal. Start each line with a word that also begins with the letter of your subject. Do it quickly then take the needed time to hone as you choose! Enjoy. Within process, gems surface.
What masks do you wear? There is a lot of talk about masks these days; wearing them to protect ourselves from co-vid 19. Beyond this skin deep protection, I’ve been wondering about masks. The masks I’ve worn in my life to protect myself. Protect myself from what; vulnerability of one sort or another?
As a woman and stage lover, I could talk about the mask of make-up and how that plays out on stage and in life as an example. As a life lover, I could talk about all the ways I slap on a mask to protect myself from emotions, words, actions, or pain that surround me and the world in just about anything I could name like media (social and main), politics, economics, conversation, a witness to incongruences that impact my consciousness moment by moment, and the masks of indifference, denial, aggression, or apathy that I wear and switch-out within a day, a circumstance; each time in the hope of avoiding vulnerability and pain.
So what is this thing named vulnerability that I, like billions attempt to avoid, numb, or deny? Why are we afraid to hurt, to be seen as a human being with all our imperfections? Is it simply a human condition? Is it our spirit trapped in form—a body that seeks something beyond what is; presence, spirituality; a sense of belonging, connection?
I wonder. In my wondering I also reflect. Somehow, like others I complicate through attachment to stuff like drama, acquisition, achievement, comparison, opinion and judgment to name a few generalities.
I see it to a lesser or greater degree playing out in my life which is really only a microcosm of the whole. It is in this recognition that I witness our interconnection. This helps me recognize my own imperfection; identify how I can only change myself, and how I respond, not anyone, or anything else. It falls on my shoulders to change and make different choices; no one else.
For example; the pallet deer fence I built recently. I am not a carpenter so imperfection and intention were its key components as was its practicality. It is repurposing at its best (or worst) depending on which side of the fence you choose (!) It serves its purpose to provide privacy for my neighbour and prevent deer jumping over it to eat all things green. My neighbour sees it as a blot on the landscape, and an eyesore. Other comments include functional art, it works, its funky, what a good use of pallets, I like it…
Perspective is everything. How we alter it is about choices. We can be critical and judgemental and remain within the boundaries of our preconceived notions of how things are, and should remain—or we can adapt and change finding a different perspective. In making an altered choice we also bring in a light of opportunity. In choosing—to walk in another’s shoes for a moment—we can see with different eyes and discard the same old masks.
I’m all for shedding the same old, masks and all. How else can I let in the light? Vulnerability is one path to that light. Masks have temporary protection yet UV light cleanses dis-ease including co-vid 19, so I am willing to let in the light, literally and metaphorically—boldly too—even when I feel vulnerable to another’s opinion and judgement that differs from mine. It is not personal, simply different.
Writing Practice: What masks do you witness in yourself? How are they mirrored in your life, others, the world as a whole? Write about it as often as you choose!
We can live as a shell/waiting to crack or as a/dove waking to its song. Poem excerpt: For the Thousandth Time I Want To Know– Mark Nepo- The Way Under The Way
With uncertainty knocking on our collective consciousness in the guise of the COVID-19 virus we are also being called to how we choose to weather the storm. Will hysteria be our reaction, or will calm be our response and prevail? We are being called to examine ourselves, family, communities, conduct, and culture and move in awareness towards recovery for the greater good.
We can only do this in baby steps; through observation rather than denial. The path is uncertain which is no different from everyday life; however because of the evidence of the virus we are being shown the very real nature of uncertainty which at its simplest is unknown. Consequently how we respond individually and collectively will influence the outcome.
I see this as a great opportunity to evaluate how I live my life. Educate myself rather than deny indicators; take precautions rather than give way to fear; create networks of interdependence rather than separation; maintain calm rather than panic, and with it take the necessary actions to maintain equilibrium in my own circle of influence.
My sway is a mere sand granule on the beach of life, but like a pebble is given to the pond, and that action brings ripples in the pond, I can only hope my words will empower others to maintain balance in this uncertainty; allow the unification of our actions to provide stability to the whole. It is all we can do collectively in such uncertainly. We are all interconnected.
“What can anyone give you greater than now…” Poem excerpt: You Reading this, Be Ready—William Stafford from The Poetry Remedy: Prescriptions for the Heart, Mind, and Soul; by William Sieghart
Writing Practice: In this technological age even in our isolation we are connected. Not in the interpersonal sense at the moment. So with the view of staying close to home I am taking the opportunity to sort through boxes of journals and other such ramblings that have accumulated over the years. Sort and discard. Declutter. Only keep the relevant and resonant. Sort through photographs, images, books, papers etc. Keep or let go.
In the event you also have accumulated “stuff” to sort through, high cupboards where things have accumulated, boxes that haven’t been opened in years—take this time to sort and let-go. Now write about your experience in any form you choose [journal, story, poem-making, art, imaging, photography etc.] on how it feels to let go and refresh your living space given this opportunity. I’d love to hear from you. Email me at: writingmybrain@gmail.com Happy sorting!
This year because it is 2020 we all have a unique opportunity for vision and hindsight simultaneously: 20/20 vision and 20/20 hindsight; with it, perhaps a little insight also.
It comes at a time in our lives and in the life of the planet where we can look forwards and backwards concurrently—see our wisdoms that we can embrace or let go, and find new ways in service to the future and upcoming generations. A unique point of view indeed! And the choice is in our hands.
My eight year old granddaughter made me a card for my recent birthday. When I asked her about her picture she said “you are summoning the birthday angels.” I was moved at both the images and her use of the word—summoning.
Contemplating her choice of words I see we can all summon those angels whether it is for birthdays, gatherings, meetings, celebrations or hard-hitting topics like global warming, health and wellness, or crisis that touch us all deeply in one way or another.
We are not alone in our singular or collective struggles. We have the capacity to reach-out to one another in our families, community, or greater circles of influence. Sometimes alone, we feel isolated yet in the act of reaching, we find connection and an opportunity to communicate at a deeper level.
lt is a choice we make on all these occasions. A choice to listen and to know also it is irrelevant if my opinions are shared or contradictory. It is in this one act of awareness I can move through 2020. In doing so, I am able to embrace my future rather than constrict both my present and future.
It is in the reaching out, listening, and deep connection where change and acceptance occurs; knowing my interconnections are what being human is all about without judgement. Judgement separates me rather than unites me with others. Acceptance unifies and allows me to recognize my humanity.
So, I for one will summon the angels for birthdays, gatherings, meetings, celebrations, and for hard-hitting topics like global warming, health and wellness, or crisis that touch us all deeply, speak my truth in a kind and respectful way, and listen above all else to those that do, and do not share my perspectives. It is a choice I can make, and an act I can take.
Writing Practice: Write, journal, or create a poem on how you will summon the angels in 2020. Cut, rip out words, phrases, or pictures from magazines or newspapers—go to the recycling centre for these or use your stash—now create a collage that represents your summoning in either your journal or elsewhere. Post your creation visibly as a reminder. I have my granddaughter’s picture on the fridge!
“Listening is not reacting or responding but meeting
experience openly, the way a lake is filled by streams.” Seven Thousand
Ways to Listen—Staying Close to What is Sacred by Mark Nepo P85.
What a beautiful image these words form for me. How integral it is also to the art of listening. I am inspired by its sentiment and realize also that I am far from finding that middle place and space of balance, yet I strive towards its intention.
Of course like thousands, we work towards that middle way, that
balance. And yet, in interactions we are perfect in our imperfections, and can
only be present when we are able. I find this lack of presence in daily
activities, a great goal, yet so hard to either achieve momentarily and
certainly to maintain.
In fact, I am hopeful in my working towards, but hopeless in
my presence. Not because of anything other than I am pulled, like thousands
before, after, and generationally in many directions that tug me away from what
I’d like to work toward in myself first, and the community as a whole—be it
family, friends or a public forum. I can only esteem towards this when I work
on myself in an attempt to reduce my own glitches.
I may be pulled to a text, a phone call, an email, an ad
flashing up on my screen, a meeting, a family need, an atmospheric adjustment
due to an outside influence, or simply pulled to respond, or react to something
that intersects my path within the hours of my life. This is definitely an
intersection. Another is in conversation. Presence often wraps itself in confusion,
complication, circumstance, or complexity by anything that intersects that
moment.
What I have come to realize is those intersections are all
about choice. Even in the most seemingly difficult scenario there is choice. It
seems bizarre, almost contradictory, but choice exists with both intersections
and conversations. We can listen, we can connect, and we can be present — even in
the most trying and grim times we face in our lives, and on the planet—yes, we do
have choice.
As our best and worst, we remain one molecule; a droplet in a
stream on its journey to the lake; to the sea.
We are part of the whole, one moment at a time. Listening comes from inside
out, rather than outside in, and listening within our conversations for the
choices, is one way to make a difference in our lives as well as those around
us, and life as a whole on the planet. In making choices, we aim to listen well
for the intersections and conversations and leap into the whole without reacting
or responding but meeting experience openly as the stream meets the lake;
the sea, and is part of the entirety.
Writing Practice:A Reflective Pause—Journal
Question excerpted from: Seven Thousand Ways to Listen—Staying Close to What is
Sacred by Mark Nepo P.88.
Watch someone doing something they love. Listen to the motion
and rhythms of how they work. Name and describe the song of their work. Journal
this experience openly and be amazed.
“Poetry is the unexpected utterance
of the soul. Much more than the
manipulation of language, it is a necessary art
by which we live and
breathe.” Mark Nepo writing on the Nature of
Poetry http://www.marknepo.com/
In my later sixties, I now recognize the heart of poetry, my heart of poetry. I began to express a deeper sense of connection through poetry when I was in my first decade. In fifty years of poetry, I have deepened that practice. Poetry is my go to practice when there is something unsettling in me, or in the world around me. An incongruence that I feel needs to be expressed in a form where I can digest it, move through it, and find resolution.
Yes, there is much to be unsettled
about in our world at this time; much to be concerned about, much to find resolution
about, within us and around us. How can we solve it? Many turn to spirituality,
many turn to avoidance, many turn to numbing, many turn to denial, many turn to
action. Each turning moves us past overwhelm to a place where we find either a
peace, or further unsettling through acts and actions.
I have, through the years turned to
poetry, perhaps as a form of resolution, but also as a form of expression—to
tap into something sometimes I am consciously unaware of, bring it into my
awareness, and release it into a concrete form; sometimes as an expression of
contradictions, conflicts and confusion. Most of my work, or practice over the
years was for my eyes only as a form of therapy for my psychological health and
wellness. I am grateful for its presence in my life, truly a mainstay.
Because poetry has the capacity to reveal the rawness of our soul and spirit, the dichotomy and contradictions in our world, often we are shy to share because poetry makes us vulnerable. I can say this about myself at least. Poetry makes me vulnerable. Vulnerability opens me up for judgement, criticism or makes me wrong somehow in the eyes of others, and it hurts. However, I can also say that poetry elevates my sense of well-being, my mental, heart and spiritual health. And in turn revitalizes my physical health. Expression through poetry from the inside out has the capacity to bring forth, make sense of any chaos or crisis, and transform confusion towards hope.
As I work with others using poetry
as expression, observation, or a collection bowl of memory I am in awe of how
the art is unique to the person, yet universal in its capacity to heal, reflect
sentiment, and show ourselves to our self. Poetry is medicine. Medicine to our
soul, and I recommend it to anyone wanting to explore the territory of the invisible.
It helps us makes sense of what we face in our day to day lives. Poetry is not
something that is to be known with our head as it was in school, it is to be
felt through our senses and expressed through our unique voice onto paper. Poetry
can be for our eyes only, or can be shared if you so choose. Poetry is a gift
to ourselves.
Poetry Practice: Find a comfortable safe place and space. Allow the surrounding atmosphere to enter your awareness. Listen from inside out. What surfaces? Is there a moment in which your peace explodes through your senses; a memory, an emotion, an incident, an issue that just won’t let-go? Write from that place and get it down on paper. Write from the heart. Massage it much, much later if you so choose but right now, write for your personal expression and illumination. Repeat as the need arises. In-joy.
I made a comment to a friend the other day how much I love to take photographs. It is a passion I had before my accident, and after five years of recovery and learning once again how to take photographs with one hand, I picked up a camera once more. However my comment was more along the lines that how I love a purpose to taking photographs. Of course, I have one—many in fact.
As a former journalist, photo-story was part of any composition. During the early years of recovery, getting to hold the camera still with one-hand, and focus was all about practice, again and again. I could (and still could) use a tripod, but hey, there’s something quite magical about taking a photograph with one-hand and not jiggling it to a blur. There’s a part of me that still loves the challenge, the unexpected, the magic. It makes my heart feel at peace, time disappear, and it’s like I’m dancing with what is before me. It is similar to writing and poetry, two more of my passions.
I recently read in an introduction to his book Critical Path. Buckminster Fuller included an article by his friend, e.e. cummings, the poet.
A Poet’s Advice
“A poet is somebody who feels, and who expresses his feelings through words. This may sound easy. It isn’t. A lot of people think or believe or know they feel—but that’s thinking or believing or knowing; not feeling. And poetry is feeling—not knowing or believing or thinking.
Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.”
Poetry and photography, for me, are felt journeys. In the book—Three Brains—How the Heart, Brain, and Gut Influence Mental Health and Identity by Karen Jensen, ND, she says—
“In today’s modern world, we are encouraged to focus mainly on our head brain. But we also need to use our other two brains to process our feelings and listen to our intuition to help keep us in balance.”
I am encouraged by this book because it explores the value and importance of all three brains—gut, head, heart—to work in unison for a healthy mind, healthy body. It honors the gut brain which is that part of us that is instinctual, intuitive, unselfconscious, immediate, practical, and direct.
I know from personal experience that one of the gifts of brain injury is what I now call the felt sense, which is also known as gut response.
This simple unrestrained response of what “pops” into mind, or out of one’s mouth without social boundaries is a good device I have grown to appreciate. It can be disruptive, it can be disturbing and it is certainly unpredictable, and often surprising.
Its gift is instinctual, intuitive, unselfconscious, immediate, practical, and direct, and I have learned to appreciate that uninhibited awareness. The gut became my indicator of how to be in the world. Of course none of this was in my awareness as first however; I did know it as a gut response, learned to trust it and later identify it as a felt sense. I named it at first as incongruence.
Today when my gut responds to an external situation, I know to trust it, listen, and take time to digest what it is being communicated to me.
Weird hey? Not really. By the same indicators I write and photograph now. My gut is a navigator of terrains. It intuitively knows things that my head has to ultimately grasp and articulate through language. My heart is the compass by which I travel the terrain. Together they’re a great team, and I feel blessed for the opportunities that arise because of the team work.
Writing Practice: Trust your Gut Writing—Go outside with your journal and pen. Find a quiet place that works for you. It could be a park, your backyard, a lake, a picnic spot. It could even be a mall where busy-ness is all around you. Start by jotting down things around you that “pop” into mind, a visual clue, a felt sense: words, phrases, observations, emotions. Write them randomly as they arise. No straight lines necessary. When you feel you have completed this, stop, breathe. Even close your eyes. Breathe. Keep breathing in awareness until you feel you are ready to go back to your journal page. Circle those words, impressions and phrases that seem to leap out at you. Breathe with awareness; pay attention to any indicators from your gut. When you are ready—begin to write. This may be an insight about health and wellness for you; it may be a journal entry or a poem. Just write—trust your gut writing and enjoy. No need to read it or edit. Just tuck it away for another day and time.
It’s an interesting thing; this aging. I am surrounded by elders. I enjoy them, their wisdoms, insights, and the one commonality that distinguishes the ones still active and engaged, are their passions and passion for life.
It may be writing as an example, it may be walking, it may be reading, playing scrabble, canoeing, camping etc. but those that remain engaged in life are the ones that remain active in some way. A great example is my mother-in-law—98. She continues to name the world, practice Sudoku, walk, pick berries in season and enjoy her great, great grandchildren on those many occasions she connects with family.
A further example may be another elder who dragged me lake swimming this afternoon! Of course I joined the ranks of an elder when I turned 65 this year, but this woman far exceeds my enthusiasm for lake swimming and she is twenty years my senior.
I took my camera and ventured that way in support of her engagement. She loves to swim and last year swam daily in the river with a mutual friend my age! This week again I was impressed with another friend—88—her energy and our diverse conversations kept us up late. Last year, her husband died, and she is adjusting to this change.
My own mother is showing distinct signs of dementia and I can’t help link it to her increasing lack of interest and engagement in life over the past ten years. This year she had a stint insertion to stretch her aorta. Now she is getting the necessary oxygen, yet her attitude of engagement still wanes.
Personally, I experienced this with a contemporary a few years back. His physical decline coincided with angina attacks. His brain, as his arteries became more blocked and oxygen reduced, simply wasn’t getting to organs. His behaviour collapsed into this new habit of apathy and it was difficult to get him off the couch. Ultimately I let go because it was his choice.
Simply put, no-one can persuade anyone to do anything they don’t choose to do themselves. All the cajoling in the world won’t make a difference. Lasting motivation ultimately comes from the inside out rather than the outside in. A distinction I see with elders is those that remain involved in their passions, remain engaged in life. Those that lean into apathy tend to fair less well.
My friend—88—still journals, and has done so for over seventy years when she first began her practice in the wilderness backcountry of Canada; in part to track her days activities, observations, inventions and the emotional landscapes of her life, and in part to write extensive letters to friends. She began this practice early on, and keeps it up today. I call it—naming the world—she calls it writing.
Writing Practice: Go outside listen to the sounds of the wind in the trees. If its’s a calm day, listen to the sounds that meet your ears. Smell the air, touch the ground, feel the weather, taste the atmosphere, imagine the story, recall a moment…begin to write. Keep going for 15 more minutes without stopping.
Writing, in its many forms, is a low-cost mental health tool. Our willingness to jot down ideas, thoughts, and emotions as they arise that are niggling or disturbing us in one way or another is an extreme act of kindness to ourselves. The act of writing is the quickest way to let those niggles and disturbances escape into a safe contained space—our journals or in other forms of writing.
Perhaps an exception to this is when writing is directed in a personal way to an external source, or individual. Our emotions are real and need to be expressed; in a safe place and in a contained way. Those words serve us through release, articulation and identification not by inflicting pain on another.
Any practice that allows pent-up emotions, thoughts, ideas, beliefs or judgments to rest quietly on a page is an improvement to our mental and physical health.
Writing provides a catchall to explore the roots of such personal anguish. Let go of pollution. Find ways to resolution and solution through the movement of a pen.
When we repress emotions, thoughts, ideas, beliefs or judgments and trap them inside our head—that suppression has the capacity to affect both our physical and mental health and wellness.
Writing freely in a safe contained space is one way to unravel our personal anguishes, anxieties, angers and attitudes and reach a place of understanding, collect insights and track patterns of behaviors—those that serve us, and those that no longer serve us. Through expression we can find an inner peace and understanding that works for us.
Words spoken in haste, in the heat of the moment can wound others and your literal and psychological body. Leaking personal hurts and glitches onto another person or group, also impacts our emotional and psychological bodies. Without release into a safe, contained space they remain trapped inside our head (and body) repeating and making a deeper groove.
Writing is a tool to help us get out of a rut and get on with our life. Plotting and/or mapping our emotional landscapes is a tool to understand and collect glimpses of ourselves from inside out and find our place in the world safely.
Writing provides a way to explore what matters to us and express it first to ourselves before we take it out into the world.
Writing is a way to express our inner thoughts, emotions etc. and work through trouble spots.
Writing is a form of prayer, of meditation and contemplation between you and your god, your conscience, your intuition or your psyche. It is an opportunity to explore emotional landscapes and find solution through the page and practice.
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